Lying
in Family Court
A Newsletter from the Law and Mediation Office of
William A. Eddy, LCSW, Esq.
When I became a family law attorney/mediator after a
dozen years as a therapist, one of the biggest surprises
was the extent of lying in Family Court: lies about
income, assets and even complete fabrications of child
abuse and domestic violence. Why would people lie so
much, I wondered? How did they get away with it? The
following is my psychosocial analysis of what I believe
has become an epidemic:
Men lie: It was a sad phone call from a relatively
new client. He informed me his father had just died.
He had quit his job and was moving back east to wrap
up his father's affairs. He asked me to tell his wife's
attorney that he would not be able to pay child support
for their three young children for a long time. (There
was no support order yet.) The next day, his wife's
attorney called me back and described how upset his
wife was to learn of her father-in-law's death. So upset,
that she had called his father -- and had a nice chat!
Women
lie: A mother involved in a custody battle told
the court in dramatic detail about physical abuse at
the hands of her husband. She even submitted reports
of visits to doctors and emergency rooms for her bruises.
However, a court-ordered psychological evaluation determined
the allegations were false. The court agreed and awarded
custody to the father. A few weeks later the mother
picked up the children from school and disappeared for
a year. She was caught, sent to jail for parental kidnaping,
and the children returned to the father.
Societal
Increase in Lying
Surveys show that lying has increased over the past
decade. In 1999 alone: the President was tried in Congress
for perjury; a popular journalist in Boston was publicly
fired for fabricating heart-rending stories; and a scientist
was exposed for falsifying research on a high-profile
safety issue. We have become a society of individuals.
Personal gain is more important than community values.
In this mobile "information age," we rely on strangers
and are easily fooled. In business, politics, and the
movies, winning is everything. Successful manipulation
and deceit are admired. In court, lying is often rewarded
and rarely punished.
No
Penalty for Perjury
Divorce Courts rely heavily on "he said, she said" declarations,
signed "under penalty of perjury." However, a computer
search of family law cases published by the appellate
courts shows only one appellate case in California involving
a penalty for perjury: People v. Berry (1991) 230 Cal.
App. 3d 1449. The penalty? Probation. Perjury is a criminal
offense, punishable by fine or jail time, but it must
be prosecuted by the District Attorney--who does not
have the time. Family Court judges have the ability
to sanction (fine) parties, but no time to truly determine
that one party is lying. Instead, they may assume both
parties are lying or just weigh their credibility.With
no specific consequence, the risks of lying are low.
Personality
Disorders and Patterns of Lying
Family Courts see everything: from small deceptions
about income to the complete fabrication of abuse. The
increase in lying seems to correspond with the rising
number of people with personality disorders, as I described
in my Spring 1998 newsletter. They often have internal
distress, less empathy for others, a highly adversarial
world view, an intense and manipulative nature, and
a sense of victimization which they use to justify harming
others. Studies show they have identifiable and predictable
patterns of lying:
A
party with a Borderline Personality Disorder may lie
out of anger or even self-deception in an effort to
maintain a bond with their child or spouse--or to retaliate
for abandonment. Battles over custody and visitation
are common.
One
with a Narcissistic Personality Disorder may lie to
boost themselves or to put other people down. They enjoy
manipulating the truth and other people's lives. They
may experience excitement and a sense of power by successfully
fooling the court and dominating the other party. An
Antisocial Personality Disorder is characterized by
deception, manipulation, and disrespect for authority.
Commonly known as "con artists," they are skilled at
breaking the rules. They fabricate detailed events and
use the courts to get revenge or money. Their lack of
empathy makes them constant liars -- and often violent.
A
Histrionic Personality Disorder is often highly dramatic
and demanding, with superficial charm and seductiveness.
They are skilled at lying and self-deception. Fabrication
is also common.
Detecting
Deception
Few people can visually detect deception. Research on
judges, federal polygraphers, psychiatrists and college
students showed that all were no better than chance
using a standardized videotape test. Only Secret Service
Agents were better than average at distinguishing truth
and lies.
Some
studies show that the more confident a person is, the
less effective they are at lie detection. Studies of
police investigators and customs inspectors found that
those with more experience were less accurate than novices.
Ineffectiveness
of Non-Verbal Cues
Many people believe they can determine whether someone
is lying by observing non-verbal behavior, such as:
touching their face, blinking their eyes, suddenly itchy
nose, neck-scratching.
These
behaviors indicate anxiety, which most people experience
when then lie. However, most people display anxiety
when they are under any pressure, such as being challenged
about their honesty. Therefore, these symptoms are unreliable.
Studies
show that the only way non-verbal cues may be truly
helpful is to observe a person over time. Their changes
in non-verbal behavior may be a more accurate indicator
of lying.
An
additional problem is that those with antisocial personalities
actually become less anxious when they lie, and therefore
do not exhibit behavioral cues and do not register anxious
symptoms on lie detector tests.
Effectiveness of Examining Records
Studies have shown that examining documents for contradictions
has been more reliable than focusing on non-verbal cues.
In fact, they have found that evaluators were best at
lie detection when they were blind to nonverbal cues.
Those who just read transcripts were the most accurate.
What
Can Be Done?
The
adversarial process naturally encourages lying: winning
is the goal, liars get equal time, and the most skillful
adversary wins -- regardless of the truth. To overcome
this inherent problem, we need:
More
use of mediation: Mediation and negotiation focus on
problem-solving for the future. Lying about the past
has little relevance. The parties know the lies and
do not tolerate them.
More
judicial time: Most divorce court decisions are made
in 10-20 minute hearings. Judges must determine the
custody and visitation schedule, the amounts of child
support and spousal support, and often whether restraining
orders are appropriate. There is little time to analyze
each declaration to determine who is lying. Judicial
lectures alone have little impact or the opposite effect
on personality disorders.
More
judges with more time could reduce lying from the start.
More attorney research: Attorneys often advocate for
their clients' statements without investigation. They
often assume they will never know who is telling the
truth. Instead, they should learn about personality
disorders and patterns of lying, more carefully question
their clients, and more aggressively seek corroborating
evidence.
More
therapist awareness: Therapists are trained to form
impressions based on interpersonal observations rather
than external evidence. They form strong bonds and believe
their clients. They can provide the court with observations
of their own client's behavior, but should not reach
conclusions based on hearing one side. They need to
be more wary of manipulation in court cases.
More consequences: It is an established dynamic of human
behavior that rules made, but not enforced, are increasingly
broken. Lying in court is already illegal. So long as
there is no penalty for perjury, lying will increase.
Family Court sanctions (fines) should be used for lying.
More
training: Court-related professionals need to realize
that you cannot tell who is lying by simple observation.
Yet one can learn personality dynamics which help indicate
who might be lying, patterns of lying and where to look
for evidence.
Resources
To be honest, studies referenced in this article came
from: Lies! Lies! Lies! The Psychology of Deceit by
Ford (1996) and Communication in Legal Advocacy by Rieke
& Stutman (1990).
© Copyright 2003 William A. Eddy, LCSW,
Esq.. No unauthorized duplication without written consent.
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